Tuesday, August 25, 2009

Another Birthday ...

Tomorrow is Quinn, my middle child's birthday. He turns 5. It's hard to wrap my brain around that fact. In some ways he's a big boy, he's very kind and responsible, and brighter then your average kindergartner, however, in another aspect, I look at Sawyer, and think .. it was just days ago that Quinn was his age. right?
It's so overwhelming for me when the kids have birthday's. Not the birthday cake, or the special meals, or the presents. But the aging of the child. The reality that they grow .. despite my desperate pleas to get one more minute. one more hour. one more day, is a hard fact to accept.
I often think of how long and how hard my husband and I fought to conceive. Prior to Quinn's birth, we had a miscarriage, our first. it felt like an eternity before we conceived Quinn, though in reality, it was only 4 months. He was such an amazing baby. I don't even remember him crying, he was so calm, and patient. He was smart and sweet, by FAR the biggest cuddler of the three children. He is still is a very loving child, and he is a very sensitive child. I am so blessed to have him. My life would be nothing if it weren't for the kids. Each of them brings me the most intense joy and happiness I could never begin to explain to what extent.
I remember when I had Madison ... I was always anxious for her next exploit ... when was she gonna crawl ... walk ... talk ... etc. Then with Quinn, I tried to treasure it more... knowing that it would move fast and i'd look back and wonder where it went. But, I still seemed to forget little things .. still seemed to look back at each birthday and go WAIT .. where my baby go. I vowed to adhere to the act of 'treasuring every moment' even more with Sawyer, but, as he approaches 9 months old, and is starting to walk, I can't help but feel I failed at treasuring again. I did my best. I guess that will just have to do.
No matter how hard you try, you can never get more hours in a day, more days in a week, and so on. Treasure every moment you have ... Really it's not just some cliche' statement, one day you'll look back and just wonder where the time has gone.

Quinn, you're so amazing. you bring a light to my life that I cannot explain. You are so smart, kind, generous, and patient with your little brother, he is lucky to have you! Your big heart and wonderful hugs make mommy's day, every day!! All my love birthday boy! I hope I can make your 5th year of life just simply amazing!!! :D

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