This might not turn out to be a 'silly' blog as the title indicates, but that little tune has been playing in my head for the last three weeks.
My family and I just moved home. To some, it's no big deal, and to others, like myself ... I didn't know how much home was a part of who I am, the literal fiber of my being, until I left.
A little under a year and a half ago my husband's job relocated us out of town. Part of me was excited. A new place, new faces, new things. I thought I was one for adventure. I have lived in this area of California for all of my life. Not in this town per se, but in the area. Jeremy and I used to dream about moving to Alaska, moving ... somewhere, and at times, we really thought anywhere would do.
Those of you who have lived in a small town must understand. People know your buisness. Perhaps more painfully, you run into people constantly, and it seems those days you really want to just run to the store to grab milk, you're stopped by 5 people. The feelings of anonymity are gone. This used to bother my husband much more then I, he's far more anti social then I. However, I can attest to internally heavy sighing when I'm really in a hurry.
Anyways, back to our journey. Not only relocating but moving into a 'city' (which is really, a small town, outside of a larger town). This area did have a few perks, the grocery store was 5 min. away (this included strapping all the children into car seats), and the kids often had neighbor kids willing to play (this was a mixed blessing). The perks were small in comparison to the less appealing parts. The first was the medical care. (For those who know the story of my sons birth, you understand). Second, was the people; the whole time I was there I only made two real friends (I am sure part of it was my lack of going out every day to the 'big town', but I simply do not have the time, or money for that social effort lol). Lastly, the original idea of our moving (that my husband would be home more) backfired. Instead, he began working out of town. The kids and I saw him only 48 hours a week. This lasted for about 11 months. ELEVEN MONTHS! talk.about.lonely.
Without going into to many boring details, the point at hand is that we did not like this town. We dreamed of home. So much so, that my husband bought me a picture that made me think of home. When my husband's job confirmed he would stay in this job position (working out of town), we saw it the opportunity we needed to move back home. That way, I wouldn't be by myself all the time (w/o family or friends to support me, as I raised our kids practically alone). Additionally, when he came home from working, he could come home and be happy. ( I should add, that since coming home, my husband has been home every night, changes in job regions, lets hope its permanent).
So...... here we are. Not only did we move home, but we bought a house at home (good luck moving me again!). I cannot explain the extent in which we missed it here.
I sit outside on my 2.3 acres of land, MY LAND, and watch my children play, no sirens, no gangs, no people in a store flashing gang signs at my husband because he was wearing blue. Instead, I garden (something I have never done, but am taking immense pleasure in), I hang my laundry on the cloths line while my toddler picks me 'fowa's' (flowers), and my older kids play soccer or hide in their 'fort'. Today, I sat and knitted while my husband and the baby talked about trees and grass and 'fowa's', and my older two kids ran around pretending to be secret agents, exploring with an old pair of binoculars. Every morning I get up and I open all the blinds, never afraid of who is looking in my home (as no one could see!), I teach my kids school under the bright sun that shines in the window, and we all eagerly look forward to 'recess', where we can all be and feel free outside, in our wonderful mountains.
I really thought I wanted something different ... something better, but I know realize, and I am sure my husband agrees, different isn't what we really wanted, and it surely wasn't better. Every day he and I discuss how much we love our home, our life, and each other. God is so good.
Tollhouse ... I missed you ... and now, you're stuck with me! ... apologies.
Loveness in the Brokenness
3 weeks ago